This Is Pride, But I Choose Christ

06/22/15

Doubt

Brokenness

Fear

Selfishness

Distraction

Unbelief

Lasting grief

Unsubsiding anger

Emptiness

Hopelessness

You name it. 

These are the fruits of pride. 

Pride closes the door to security, to trust, fortitude, wholeness, hope, forgiveness~ Redemption. 

Don't believe me? 

Have you never felt completely alone, insufficient, or broken?

 Perhaps you have no faith. 

Do you ever wrestle with your faith or lack there of?

I do. I wrestle with it all the time. 

"Lord, help my unbelief," 

It's a common utterance. 

Can I tell you something, though?

I never struggle with God. I never struggle with His power. I never struggle with His love, His goodness, His probability. I know He is, because I am. Does it not take greater a measure of faith to believe nothing than to believe something as evident as intelligent design? 

Faith, by definition is as follows:

Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

It takes more close-mindedness to look at the physical earth and still create your own version of "I don't know, and it doesn't matter," and energy to feed the flames under the concept of peace through unbelief than it does to seek with all of your being to understand something that is older than one can fully process.   

I'm not giving weight to tradition. I'm giving weight to succeedence. Something that has stood the test of time; something that is more than an order, but a living, life-giving order. There is power, unfathomable power in the Word of God. It is something that can completely rewire the brain, the character, and by default the heart and actions, through pure and genuine cognitive contemplation; for that, it cannot be discounted. 

Governments fall to self-empowerment, and all other glorification of self returns dust to dust. The laws of man are ever changing, meanwhile the Law of the Lord changes not.  Heed stability; start with the Bible and a straightforward relationship between you and God. All man-made order cannot withstand the ways of the Lord, so why buy into anything besides? 

I have faith in God's existence and His ability to personally look over 7 billion people because when I call upon the name of the Lord in prayer and get a physical response repeatedly, I'd be blind to call it chance. 

 Yesterday, I was canvassing, (going door-to-door) in a residential area and had just given out two books for 10 dollars less than I should have, and was attempting to pay myself cautionary warnings for future reference as not to damage my scholarship by accruing a large deficit by giving away free books. So, I prayed. I prayed that the Almighty would cover any insufficient donations in case I had over-estimated some. Then I let it be. I waited for the van for a curbside refill for a second after leaving a home I had gotten the opportunity to pray with the owner in. At the same time as my prayer, and I'm not kidding, the sickly home owner's husband came home and walked from his truck to hand me 10 dollars without introduction or any "soliciting" (in the non-derogatory dictionary sense of the word) on my part. He bid me God Bless and expressed his gratitude, telling me it was all he had. It covered the last book I had given out and left me ~ speechless. In a matter of minutes, God reassured me all was covered and to keep going without worry. 

I struggle with my stubborn nature. I struggle with what I can't answer. I wrestle with handing myself over to God 110% daily. 

This is pride. 
Praying for funds in faith and being handed 10 dollars seconds later on the street? 
This is God. 

Don't mistake a lacking in faith for an abundance of pride. 

Faith by God's definition: the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 

Pride by (new) definition: the impedance of eternal joy. 

We have a choice to make. 

Choose Christ, at every angry thought, every feeling of doubt, brokenness, lonesomeness, and He will be your strength; He will see you through. 

II Corinthians 12- "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." 

F(utility)

6/8/15 

It's getting late... Probably bed time for youngsters. 

I've canvassed three streets already with an acceptable reaction from the people...for my first three hours of actual canvassing, at least. Though, I do have little to go off of.... 

So who am I to judge?

The whole while, I'm praying for divine appointments... Squashing thoughts of discouragement on every square of sidewalk with whispers that begin with "Heavenly Father please...", and reviving my smile over and again. Luckily, that last bit comes most naturally. 

Have you ever noticed the sidewalks are narrower where few are welcome and the doorbell is broken where the heart is hidden away?  We have. Our bags are heavy, though, not so much as we are just starting out. We've been told they'll bulk up along with our people reading skills. 

After a divine appointment, and I know it was so, trust me, I prayed with the woman and she willingly with me, but then proceeded to warn me harshly about the next house. 

"Skip it. He is incessantly mean and you'll get no response other than that." (This was after she had taken one of the harder books to canvas to strangers: The Great Controversy; it was also after she had told me not to be discouraged by any door). Ironic, I know. 

Her warning was most interesting to me because I had already had a bad feeling upon my first glance at the house, the owner(s) playing basketball loudly in the drive. I thought about skipping it. I did. I even walked just shy of passed. But then I was stopped. Dead. In. My. Tracks. 

Remember....

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts,"

Yeah, I stopped. 

And so did they, both sides intrigued. 

I walked away with one word on my tongue. Mercy. 

It turned out to be my favorite house of the night. They were more than generous and the conversation lasted a good while. 

"See...?" 

When God enlightens, it's never an I told you so. 

Yes, I see.

I see that we've been sent out. I've said it before, and I'm not likely to leave it here. We've been sent and have a purpose. Our purpose as disciples of God is to fulfill Isaiah 55:8-11. If you don't know it, I encourage to get out the good book ASAP. 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither (to that place) but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. (Isaiah 55:3, 8-11)

Okay~ powerful. And just what I needed for what I've signed up to do all summer. He always knows what I need....Without fail. So how do I always manage to find room in my canvassing bag for doubt and worry? 

Because the enemy on the field is self. 
And battling him on my own is futile. 
Good thing I'm not alone. We're, not alone. 

It's funny, I just checked my bible app and I do not believe it a coincidence that today's bible verses of the day are  
Colossians 4:5-6.

"Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." 

Sounds a little like mission work, no? 

Give God your availability, and He will provide you with the ability. Those who actively seek with their whole heart never lack. 

And friends, don't think this doesn't apply to the home front mission field as well. You are sent wherever you go, (or remain).